I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
