I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
