i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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