OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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