Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
...so i touched it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
