oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize