If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
