I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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