therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
