ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
