i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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