He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
