he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
