Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
