I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
