i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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