Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
