I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
