I want to make a zoo with you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
