Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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