he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
