just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
