He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
