I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My vagina is officially offended.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
