She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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