Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
