as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
