I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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