Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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