Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
