Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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