her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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