i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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