We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Your cock deserves a montage
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
