he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
