it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize