he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
