You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
