remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
is it fun? or sober?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
