Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
