so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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