I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
