What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
