she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
