Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
bring money and cleavage
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
