It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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