Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize