if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
