i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Panties = found
Randomize
