i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
