If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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