you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
