My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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