its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
