So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
