It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
