There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
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