I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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