dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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