why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
True college students do jello shots in the library
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
