bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
