he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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