One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
