So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
