Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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