I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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