i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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