Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
